How to Become a Favorite Aunt in 20 Easy Steps

How To Become a Favorite Aunt (or Uncle) is a list of how to win over your nieces and nephews so that every time you see them, they will flock to you, clamor for your attention, follow you around (like your second shadow), cry when you leave (this breaks my heart but I secretly adore it), beg to sit by you at the table, and generally just shower you with love. Follow these 20 simple rules and you will be sure to be a favorite aunt--or at least an adored one--in a few short weeks. Warning: This puts you in a very privileged position from which to speak Truth into their lives, be a role model, and launches you into a great spot from which to share with them as teens and adults. Do not follow these rules if you are not ready for the responsibility.

1. Convince Siblings to Have Kids: Have nieces and nephews. If your brothers and sisters do not yet have children, write them letters every day, text and call incessantly, and have your parents guilt them into having children. Nieces and nephews are...simply amazing.

2. Babysit Kids Once Siblings Have Kids: Beg (on your hands and knees if you must) their parents to babysit (or have a slumber party). Give your siblings a date night once a month. Ask politely (and repeatedly) to watch their kids.

3. Throw Slumber Parties: At said slumber party, have a plethora of options--including but not limited to--miniature bowling, coloring books, story time, a shelf-full of children's books, sidewalk chalk, and a grey, fluffy cat named Smokey. Have kids all camp out on your floor in sleeping bags.

4. Get A Fluffy Cat: Adopt previously mentioned grey cat named Smokey when parents of nieces and nephews no longer want to take care of cat. (As an aside, cats are very important. My nephew, Hunter, once had to give me a black kitten his mom picked up for free at WalMart after his dad refused to have a cat. When I wasn't looking, he plotted a catnapping plot, grabbed the kitten from my house, and yelled, "Mom...get in the car!" He was 4 years old. And since I have not forgotten that story, I adopted Smokey--also rejected by said father--so he wouldn't have a second heartbreak...) Believe me, it will win you big Aunt points.

5. Verbal Story Time: Poll your audience. Take suggestions to include in the story (i.e. princess, a spy, a B-1 bomber, a giraffe, a dragon, a castle, and a kitten). Take suggestions from the audience and then incorporate any and all suggestions into the story, no matter how ridiculous or far-fetched. Be very dramatic. Be funny. Be creative. Even little kids like to laugh, and laugh, and laugh at how ridiculous you are. Don't worry...they will NOT forget that their suggestion has not yet been included in the story.

6. Let 4-Year-Olds Cook or Bake: Let the kids help you crack eggs, turn on the Kitchen Aid mixer, measure ingredients, and mix the blueberry pancakes. So what if they're 4 years old and the egg is bigger than their hand. They'll remember that you taught them how to cook, and that is worth all the mess in the world.

7. Breakfast For Dinner: Why follow the rules? Make kids blueberry pancakes for dinner. Eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast. Make time at your house memorable, off-the-wall, out-of-the-box, fun...

8. Party Time: Yell "Party Time" as soon as parents walk out of the house. Jump up and down. This creates an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation...and gets your heart racing a little bit. Or, plan a special party just for the kids. Some of my 13 nieces and nephews attended a couples' shower and begged me for a party all their own. Granted, it only took me 7 months to have a party for them, but when I did we had a ceiling full of streamers, a special cake, color-coded party wear, and a floor full of balloons. I am now accepting applications for you to be my niece or nephew, should you so desire.

9. Gather up the troops: Call in all nieces and nephews to have a little conference--you know--sort of like a football huddle. List all creative, wacky, and fun options you can think of. This will gain buy-in from the sweetkins, niblings, or whatever endearing name you have for your nieces and nephews.

10. Listen With Intensity: Give them a listening ear. Smile. Nod. Hug. Smile, nod, and hug again. Let them know you are extremely interested in what they have to say, suggest, remember, or contribute. Just think of how much YOU like undivided attention, when you have a dinner table full of people who love your story, listen to your ideas with rapt attention, and hang on your every word. Treat your nieces and nephews like this.

11. Make Blanket Forts: Gather all blankets and sheets in the house. If you do not have blankets or sheets (poor thing!) go to a garage sale and buy some for heavens sake. Attach blankets and sheets to chairs with heavy books or duct tape. Pad the hard floors with pillows, and then make sure that everyone is comfortable. Be prepared to pause the movie numerous times while small skirmishes occur over space, stinky feet, and questions.

12. Bedtime Story With Headlamp: Read a bedtime story with a headlamp. Gather the troops, pick a wild story (Bill Peet books are my nieces' and nephews' favorites.) It's kind of like camping (minus the mosquitoes, ticks, bears, and cold).

13. Let Them Join Your Team: Whenever playing cards (or Cranium or Trivial Pursuit or Apples to Apples), let them join your team. Let them hold the cards and play your hand. Ask them what move you should make next. And (gasp!) let them SEE your cards while playing Spades or Hearts or Rummi. Just kindly whisper in their ear, "No honey, I don't want you to tell the whole table that you know what an Ace, King, and Jack are or let them know how many we have." Yes, this strategy is money.

14. Sit By Them At The Table: Kids will beg you to sit next to them at the table. Unfortunately, you only have two sides to choose from. So to combat that fact, a wise thing to say is, "If I can reach you, we're sitting by each other." This satisfies most everyone. If you can reach out and touch each others' hands...they're OK not sitting RIGHT next to you. Try it tomorrow.

15. Send Cards: Everyone likes to get snail mail, especially kids. At least we adults get junk mail. Someone out there at least cares about us enough to ask us for money or kindly remember to send us a bill. But you can send Valentine cards, Birthday cards, or postcards from exotic lands or your neighborhood tourist trap. I've heard tales of nieces and nephews carrying around my cards for weeks. Do it. You'll love their reaction.

16. Be Goofy: Say funny things. Be crazy. Remember what it's like to be a kid. Pretend you're a kid. Don't be afraid to look silly. Get down on the floor and play already! Dance. Ask crazy questions. Expect crazy results.

17. Love Them Like Your Own Kids: Just because they aren't your kids doesn't mean you can't love them like your own. Kids are very perceptive. They know when adults respect them, care about them, adore them. So...adore away. No one's stopping you. You can't run out of hugs. You'll never run out of kisses. Your smile will never fade.

18. Take Them On Field Trips: Kids love (read LOVE) going places with you - to the grocery store, to a big cat preserve, to an ice cream shop, to the park, to learn how to play tennis... Take them places you go. They will love it, feel like adults, and learn something long the way. (And you'll smile from here to the moon and back.)

19. Go To Their Events: OK, OK, so going to watch an extremely non-aggressive 5-year-old play soccer or a painfully shy 4-year-old sing Christmas carols in front of an entire school or listening to a 6-year-old sing the wrong words very, very far off key is not the most entertaining thing in the world, but just imagine how much their faces will light up when they see you've come. They'll wave at you from the field, shoot beaming smiles at you from the risers, and run to see you when the performance is over. And when they sweetly end the song "Happy Birthday Jesus" with a barely audible but oh-so-endearing "I love you Jesus" I guarantee you will be at every even from now until the cows come home. Priceless.

20. Look At Them As If Your Life Will Be Better With Them Around: Cause it will be... How will your life be better without their cute smiles, adorable questions, sweet laughter, creativity, out-of-the-blue sayings (i.e. "Lord have Murphy" or "If we bring this broken plane back [to the dollar store] and pay more, will it work?" I mean, life's too short not to shower these kiddos with love, isn't it?

And there you have it. My 20-step-guide to becoming a favorite Aunt (or Uncle) in the family. Now go find those nieces and nephews! You've got work to do...